I Will Remember You
by SmellyCat2004
Summary: This is my first fanfic, so please review and leave any hints or tips. This is an RnR fic: What happens when a husband wants his family to give up too much? Will he leave the life he's always wanted behind?
1. The Perfect Life

I Will Remember You  
A Friends fan-fiction  
  
Disclaimer: No, unfortunately, F-R-I-E-N-D-S is not mine, although sometimes I hopelessly wish that it was. However, the characters belong to  
Bright, Kauffman, and Crane.  
Prolouge  
  
This story takes place many years after season three... however, there are a few changes. First of all, Ross and Rachel never went on "a break", but instead became engaged. They finally got married at the beginning of season four, and Rachel moved into Ross's apartment. Also, because their daughter, Emma, wasn't born until season eight, she currently does not exist. However, they do have a young daughter named Summer, who has just turned five years old. Monica and Chandler have just gotten engaged, and Phoebe has just met Mike. I know... a little bit too early, but I think they're a really cute couple! As for Joey, he has just moved to L.A to start his new sitcom: Two To Tango. The story mainly revolves around Ross and Rachel, but the other characters are involved frequently.  
  
Chapter One: The Perfect Life  
  
Ross and Rachel's  
  
Rachel walked into the small apartment with Summer trailing behind her. Summer was an exact copy of her mother, but had the tendency to become stubborn, just like her father. She was a very active five year old, and was full of questions.  
  
"Mommy, do you think daddy works too much?" Summer questioned her mother.  
  
Rachel started to giggle; "Now why would you bother asking a question like that?"  
  
"Because I was wondering what your opinion was," Summer stated in response.  
  
"Well, honey," Rachel pulled her over to the couch. "I guess he does stay at work a lot, but mommy doesn't care because she knows that that's what makes him happy."  
  
Summer looked down at her shoes and swayed her feet back and forth. She hated it when she didn't see her dad, he always make her laugh.  
  
"What's the matter Sunshine?" Rachel asked.  
  
Summer started to twirl her golden-blonde hair around her finger. She didn't want to confess her true feelings to her mother. She knew how much her daddy loved his job, and she didn't want to ruin it for him.  
  
"Honey, do you feel sad when you don't get to see you daddy?" Rachel asked her shy daughter.  
  
"I..I don't know, is that a bad thing?" she replied.  
  
"No, honey! It's perfectly fine for you to miss your father, it just shows how much you love him," Rachel said as she embraced her daughter. She stroked her soft hair and kissed her cheek.  
  
"Thank you, mommy... I love you bunches," Summer squealed and wrapped her arms around her neck.  
  
Rachel was happier than ever here at home with her beautiful daughter. And the fact that she knew her wonderful husband would be home soon made it even better. She cherished the many moments she shared with her family. Sometimes, she even wished that they could have another baby, but she knew how busy Ross was at work. How could she tend to two youngsters?  
  
Rachel stood up and walked towards the kitchen; "Sunshine, do you want me to order a pizza for dinner?"  
  
"Only if daddy will be home in time to eat with us, " she replied sternly.  
  
"Will you tell him that I am veeeerry upset, because he is never eats dinner with us?"  
  
"Oh, honey, I'll try to call him, but I'm afraid that he might not be able to change his plans," Rachel told her daughter.  
  
"Then I'm not eating!" Summer spat and ran into her room.  
  
Rachel grinned at her daughter's funny behavior. Then she picked up the phone and dialed Ross's cell.  
  
"Hello, Ross Geller speaking," her husband said in a business-like tone.  
  
"It's me honey," said Rachel.  
  
"Is everything okay!? What's going on!? You never call me during a presentation," Ross asked urgently.  
  
"Honey, honey! Calm down, everything's fine. I'm sorry about interrupting you, I forgot you had a presentation today," she replied.  
  
"Oh, don't worry about it, it just ended. Anyway, what did you need to tell me?" Ross asked.  
  
"Well, our daughter wanted me to inform you that she is veerrry upset that you have been spending so much time at work, and she is threatening not to have dinner unless you are here to eat with us," Rachel said.  
  
She heard her husband laughing in the background, "I'll be there A.S.A.P! Tell her to give me about fifteen minutes."  
  
Rachel smiled, "I'm sure she'll be very pleased to hear that!"  
  
"Honey, I gotta go. You be careful now," Ross said worriedly.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Rachel questioned.  
  
"Well, I was just watching 20/20 last night and there was a story about pizza guys killing the customer at their front door..." he said.  
  
"You're so sweet! I love you, honey. Don't be too long," said Rachel in reply.  
  
"Love you always, bye." 


	2. Losing His Little Girl

Chapter Two: Losing His Little Girl  
  
Ross and Rachels  
  
Later that night, Ross stepped inside the apartment and crashed onto the couch. He was exhausted, but that was old news, considering he always worked overtime.  
  
God, I hope Rach isn't upset, Ross thought. However, it came as no surprise when he heard the bedroom door shut behind him and his furious wife storming out.  
  
"You're late," said Rachel smugly.  
  
Ross immediately started apologizing. His mouth seemed to be overflowing with sentences pleading for forgiveness. Phrases such as: 'I didn't have a choice, the money was good', 'Rach, honey, I thought you would understand', and 'Come on, what do you want me to do to make it up to you?' were said repeatedly.  
  
"Sweetheart, you know I wouldn't try to upset you or Summer," Ross said sweetly.  
  
"Then how come you did?" she spat in reply.  
  
"I..I.I don't know, I really didn't mean too honey. Please, please, I promise I'll never let you guys down again," he pleaded.  
  
"That's all it is, Ross! Promises, promises, promises! I'm sick of you making promises when you don't really mean them!" yelled Rachel, almost in tears.  
  
Ross looked down at his shoes like an abused puppy. If he knew that he was going to end up hurting Rachel, he wouldn't have spent so much time at work. Why couldn't she understand that?  
  
Rachel continued, "Do you realize that your daughter hasn't seen you for over fifteen minutes the past month!? She doesn't understand who her father is anymore, Ross; and I can hardly blame her. Do you know what she said to Chandler yesterday?"  
  
Ross squinted his eyes, "I really could pass on hearing that..."  
  
"She asked him to tie her shoe, but she called him 'daddy'. Do you understand how confused she was when she finally realized that it was her Uncle Chandler looking back at her?" Rachel cried, remembering that moment which had taken place only a few days ago.  
  
Flashback (a few days ago)  
  
Ross and Rachel's  
  
Chandler knocked on the door of Ross and Rachel's apartment.  
  
"MOOMMMY!" Summer screamed from the living room.  
  
"One sec, sweetie, Mommy's taking a shower," Rachel replied. "Could you be a big girl and answer the door, please?"  
  
Summer smiled happily, "Sure, Mommy."  
  
She skipped across the room to the front door. I love being treated like a big girl, she thought to herself.  
  
"Hey, Summer, it's your Uncle Chandler," said a voice on the other side of the door.  
  
"How can I be sure that you're really my Uncle Chandler?" inquired his niece.  
  
God, why did her mother have to teach her to be so cautious? Chandler questioned himself.  
  
"I make jokes when I'm uncomfortable around people," Chandler replied.  
  
In an instant the door snapped open, and Summer leaped into her Uncle's arms.  
  
"Are you going to daycare today, Summer?" asked Chandler.  
  
"Yep, I'm ALL ready, except I need to get on my sneakers. Will you help me tie my shoelaces, daddy?" she asked sweetly.  
  
Chandler's face turned pale, and just as he was about to open his mouth in reply, he noticed Rachel standing behind him.  
  
"Honey, what did you just say?" Rachel asked her daughter.  
  
Summer turned to face her mother, "I was just asking Daddy," she turned around to designate Ross as her father, when she stopped mid-sentence to notice that she was staring at her Uncle Chandler. The young girl snapped her head around and looked helplessly at her mother, then once more at her Uncle.  
  
"I..I, I didn't me..mean to," Summer stammered, as she started to cry.  
  
"Sweety," Rachel started to console her daughter, but noticed her running back towards her bedroom sobbing.  
  
End of Flashback  
  
"Honey, I'm so sorry, I..I didn't know," Ross said, apparently shocked.  
  
"Don't tell me Ross, go tell your daughter," said Rachel sadly.  
  
"She's still awake? Honey, I know we decided to start treating her like a big girl, but I think this is taking it a bit too far," Ross said in a serious tone.  
  
"Last time I checked she was reminiscing her childhood memory book," Rachel said.  
  
"I.. g... guess I'll see her, then," Ross said, obviously ashamed.  
  
He turned towards Summer's room, when Rachel spoke; "Ross, honey, I'm sorry I got so mad, I just want our daughter to understand how much her father loves her."  
  
"Come here, baby, I knew you were just thinking about the best things for our little girl," Ross said, embracing her in his arms and kissing her neck softly. He ran his hands through her thick, dirty blonde hair, and gently rubbed her face.  
  
"I'll be in.. ecch.emm... the bedroom," said Rachel, winking at him, then softly closing their bedroom door.  
  
Ross nervously approached his daughter's room. With shaking, sweaty hands, he turned the doorknob and quietly opened the door. There she was... his little angel. He had almost forgotten how beautiful she was over the past month. She looked just like her mother, but had his smile. Watching her there, her breathing slow and steady, he was almost relieved that she was still asleep. He never wanted to hurt his daughter, and it pained him to confess that he had upset her.  
  
However, he felt he needed to express his thoughts, rid himself of the guiltiness. So, he slowly knelt beside her bedside, and stroked the side of her face lovingly.  
  
"Summer, sweetheart... I know you can't hear me right now, but... I just had to tell you how sorry I am. You're my angel, and I never meant to hurt you. I just wish you could understand how much I love you, and how much you mean to me. Every morning," Ross started to get teary. "Every morning... I wake up realizing that I have the most beautiful, caring daughter in the world. And I always want to make you happy. But I guess that, lately, I haven't been really thinking about you, honey. I've been too busy worrying about myself, and being a selfish loser. I...I. I, just wish you knew how special you are to me.." he turned away and started to cry.  
  
"I know, Daddy," said a quiet voice behind him.  
  
"Honey, I thought you were asleep?" Ross said, wiping away the tears from his eyes.  
  
"Oh, Daddy, it's taken you such a long time for you to catch on to my sleeping acts. I'm a pro now," she giggled.  
  
"Do you forgive me, Sunshine?" Ross asked, holding his breath.  
  
"Yes, Daddy, I love you," the little girl replied forgivingly.  
  
Ross squeezed his daughter, wishing he could stay in that moment forever. Tears of joy started to slide down his face. Little did he know that his wife was right outside the door, doing just the same. 


	3. Sacrifices

Chapter Three: Sacrifices  
  
Ross's Office  
  
"Yes, and I have the essay written already. No. No, no, I'm sure that it's spell-checked. But, you said it was my book! I'm not gonna share it with some other scientist. This is my shot, my fame, my EVERYTHING! Sure, yes, ok. Oh, don't you worry, I changed my mind, everything is ALRIGHT!"  
  
Screw him, Ross thought, slamming down the phone. This was supposed to be my book. Why can't anything just be mine, FOR ONCE! That's when Ross realized it... the fact that he had completely changed. Ever since he had been working so much, he had become such a selfish jerk. Why did everything have to be his?  
  
"Excuse me, Dr. Geller?" said a businessman standing near his desk.  
  
"Oh, yes, I'm so sorry, just kind of daydreaming. Anyway, what can I do for you?" Ross said, getting down to business.  
  
"Well, actually, I was sent here by Mr. Ganfeld, your boss. You see, he had some news he wanted me to give you," said the man importantly.  
  
"Oh, god, I hope it's not about that evolution document that was due yesterday," Ross muttered under his breath.  
  
"What was that?" asked the man curiously.  
  
"Umm.. nothing. So, what's the news?" asked Ross.  
  
"Well," the man started, pulling up a chair. "You see, Mr. Ganfeld has been asked by the UCLA, to provide two scientists for a research program that they're working on. However, this would mean that you and your family would have to move to California, but I'm sure that won't be a problem once you find out the salary..."  
  
"Oh, um... I'm not sure about the location, I mean..." Ross started.  
  
"The salary would come to a total of $150,000 for one year," he interrupted.  
  
"I.. WOW!" Ross almost fell out of his chair with disbelief.  
  
"We'll need to know your answer by the end of the week. Until then, I have to go inform the other lucky man about his opportunity," said the man as he winked at Ross, then walked out the door.  
  
Ross was left motionless in his chair, once again torn between his family and himself.  
  
Ross and Rachel's  
  
Rachel was pacing the room back and forth. What was she going to do? How would Ross respond? Thank goodness she had already told Summer, and had been overjoyed to find out how happy her daughter was. Oh, no! she suddenly thought. Summer. What if something came up and she wasn't ready to tell Ross? Summer would be sure to sneak the news to her father.  
  
"Mommy, you okay?" asked Summer, apparently worried.  
  
"Mommy's fine, Sunshine. Just doing some very serious thinking, that's all," Rachel replied.  
  
"You look like you're gonna throw-up, mommy," Summer commented.  
  
Sure enough, Rachel felt nauseous and suddenly ran into the bathroom. After a few moments, she regained her stomach and walked out of the bathroom.  
  
"Are you sure you're okay?" her daughter asked again.  
  
"Yes, just a little worried about your father, I guess my stomach was too," Rachel giggled, trying to reassure her little girl.  
  
"Is he going to be happy when he finds out that we're gonna..." Summer said excitedly.  
  
"YES, YES!" Rachel cut of her daughter. "I'm sorry sweetie, but this is our little secret, so you have to keep that information to yourself for a little while. Can you do that for mommy?"  
  
"Yep," Summer answered, running up and hugging her mother's legs.  
  
A couple hours later  
  
Ross hurried to the apartment door, lugging the heavy wine bottle and Olive Garden carry-out bags behind him. Hopefully, over a nice dinner, his wife would agree to moving to California.  
  
"Honey, I'm home!" Ross sang.  
  
"One second, I'll be right there," his wife replied.  
  
Walking over to the kitchen table, Ross sat down the Reunite wine, and started to set the table. He grabbed some Pottery Barn candles from the cupboard, placed two of them next to each place setting, and lit them carefully. The sweet aroma soon filled the air, drawing Rachel into the room.  
  
"Wow, something smells amazing!" she said, taking a whiff of the candles.  
  
"Yep, just getting dinner ready," he said, bustling around the room.  
  
"What's all this for? Is there some kind of celebration?" Rachel asked, obviously intrigued by her husband's actions.  
  
"I guess you could say that," Ross replied, pulling out a chair for Rachel, and seating himself.  
  
"First of all," Ross leaned across the table, touched her hand, and passionately kissed her, engaged by the feel of her smooth lips. "And second," he said, picking up the Reunite and pouring her a glass.  
  
"This dinner looks incredible," Rachel complimented, staring uneasily at the wine flowing from the bottle.  
  
Ross noticed Rachel's eyes, "Is everything okay? I know Reunite isn't any Chardonnay, but I thought we could give it a try."  
  
"Well, let's get started. So, what do have to tell me?" Rachel asked timidly.  
  
"Honey, now, please don't get worked up about this... but, I've just been offered a great job, and if I accept, I would be earning close to $150,000!" Ross exclaimed.  
  
"Oh my gosh! That's great, how can I not get worked up!?" Rachel said happily.  
  
"Well, I'm not finished. You see, the job is only for a year..." Ross started.  
  
"Yes, and..." Rachel pushed.  
  
"Well, it's at UCLA, which means that we would have to move to California," he finished.  
  
"I..I, I don't know what to say," Rachel stammered.  
  
"Honey, I know it's a big change, but this would be great for my career! But, I don't want to push you to do anything, remember, your opinion always comes first."  
  
"I need some time, sweetheart. I mean, there are so many things going on in our life right now, just, please, give me some time to think," Rachel pleaded.  
  
"That's fine, I'll be right back, going to check on Summer," Ross said.  
  
Rachel watched him leave the room, then rushed over to the counter, trying not to make much noise. She carefully poured her wine into the sink, washed out the glass, then rinsed the purple alcohol out of the sink. Dashing over to the refrigerator, she pulled open the door and grabbed a bottle of grape juice. She poured a small amount into her glass, returned the juice to the fridge, then ran back over to the table.  
  
Ross returned to the room, "Sleeping like an angel. Honey, why are you sweating?"  
  
God, I knew I ran to fast, Rachel thought. However, she managed to come up with an answer, "It must be these candles, the flames are burning me up!"  
  
"Is that better, sweetie?" Ross asked, blowing out some of the candles.  
  
"Perfect," Rachel said, smiling.  
  
"How's the wine? I hope it's not too sweet," Ross questioned.  
  
"It's fine," she replied, taking a reassuring sip of the juice, hoping he wouldn't notice a difference.  
  
Rachel looked down, finally remembering the conversation they had been having earlier. She loved New York, being close to her friends, everything was so perfect. But, she also knew how much this opportunity meant to her husband, and the fact that she cared so much about him, made her realize that she would do almost anything to make him happy.  
  
"Honey, I've thought it over, and if it really means that much to you, then we can move. I mean, it's only for a year, how much can change?" Rachel said, although she knew deep down that so much would end up happening.  
  
"Sweetie, thank you so much! I'll never forget how great you are, you're the best wife a man could ask for. Someday, I'll find a way to repay you," Ross beamed, getting up and wrapping his arms around her.  
Rachel leaned in and kissed him slowly. She was so happy with this man, he made her feel so needed, yet safe at the same time. He would never understand how happy he had already made her, just by being a part of her life. 


	4. Moving On

Chapter Four: Moving On  
  
Ross and Rachel's (a month later)  
  
It had finally come, the day that they were moving to California. Rachel felt horrible. She didn't want to move... actually, that was the last thing on her mind right now. She had been keeping things from her husband, and the guilt was finally piling up on her, drowning her. Thankfully, Monica and Chandler had come to help pack, so she could have some "alone" time.  
  
"Hey, you seen your wife, also known as my best friend?" Monica asked her older brother.  
  
"Yea, I think I saw her in Summer's bedroom, packing up the last things. Why?" Ross questioned.  
  
"Just needed to talk to her," Monica said, rushing into the bedroom.  
  
Rachel was sitting on her daughter's bed, wearing a saggy Knicks sweatshirt, sobbing. It pained Monica to see her in this condition, yet for the first time in years, Monica honestly didn't know what was wrong.  
  
"Rach, honey," Monica said, hugging her friend and comforting her. "What's wrong, sweetie? You've been so depressed lately, tell me what's the matter with you?"  
  
"I.. I've been keeping things from Ross. I can't... I just can't tell him," Rachel whispered, while Monica wiped away her tears with a tissue, just like her mother used to do.  
  
"Tell him what, Rach?" Monica asked, worriedly.  
  
Rachel looked down solemnly at her stomach, "I'm pregnant, Mon..."  
  
"Honey! That's great news! Come here," Monica squealed, almost crying herself. She embraced her friend, still confused. Why was Rachel afraid to tell Ross? Her brother was a complete freak about kids. He loved them, and he was the best father a kid could ask for.  
  
"Honey, I just don't understand why you're so afraid to tell him? You know how much he loves children, he'll be thrilled," Monica consoled her.  
  
"I'm three months," Rachel sobbed.  
  
"Rachel!" Monica yelled, standing up. "Sweetie, I seriously think there is something wrong with you! Three months! Holy crap, did you think you were just going to hide it from him until you went into labor! And you're moving, you still need to contact a doctor, get a local pediatrician, God, I need a pad of paper," Monica rambled, grabbing a notepad and scribbling down her ideas.  
  
Rachel continued to cry, her eyes soon turning red and blotchy, until her friend finally noticed. Monica turned around after finishing her list, handing it to Rachel. She suddenly realized that Rachel needed help, she was a nervous wreck. She wasn't helping her friend, if anything, she was worrying her even more.  
  
"Rach, I'm sorry, I just got so carried away. I'm worried about you, sweetie, and I think it's time you get rid of the guilt and tell him. He's not going to be upset, he'll probably be thrilled!" Monica told her, convincingly.  
  
"I.. I.I.. g.. gu.. guess so," Rachel said, finally.  
  
"But first, let's go into your room and get you into some nice clothes, you look terrible," Monica said, grabbing Rachel's arm and pulling her into the next room. "I'm surprised you could dress like this, you fashionista!"  
  
This made Rachel laugh, as she finally realized how grungy she had looked lately. Then, a though occurred to her.  
  
"Mon, if I put on something besides a sweatshirt, he's gonna notice," Rachel said, looking down at her small bump.  
  
"If anything, that makes it easier. Maybe he'll notice before you have to tell him," Monica said, rummaging through Rachel's clothes, which all had been boxed up.  
  
A few minutes later, Rachel came out looking like a true beauty. Monica broke away to watch, as Rachel walked over towards Ross, who was deep in conversation with Chandler. She tapped her husband's shoulders, causing him to turn around.  
  
"Honey, what's wrong? Have you been crying?" Ross asked, obviously worried.  
  
"I think we need to talk," Rachel said, fighting back tears.  
  
"Ok, what about?" Ross asked.  
  
Rachel noticed Chandler still standing behind Ross, apparently intent to listen-in on their conversation. Finally, Monica noticed her husband getting in the way. She flagged her arms in the air, signaling for Chandler to move. God, my husband can be a real jerk sometimes, she thought, laughing.  
  
"Ross, I..I," Rachel started, but tears started to slide down her already moist cheeks.  
  
"Honey, you look beautiful," Ross said, looking her up and down. Suddenly, his eyes transfixed on her slightly protruding stomach, and it hit him.  
  
Ross brought his eyes back up to her face, "Rach... sweetheart, are you...?"  
  
Rachel nodded her head in reply. Monica was right, she barely had to say anything. The hard part was getting the nerve to speak again.  
  
"Honey, that's wonderful, come here," Ross said, embracing her tightly. He saw her start to cry again, and he gently wiped away the tears that were steadily falling from her soft, green eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I was just... there were so many changes," she said, regaining her ability to speak.  
  
"Rachel, you don't ever worry about my reactions. You know that I'll always be happy, no matter what surprises come our way. But, just out of curiosity... how many months are you?" he asked.  
  
"Three," Rachel giggled.  
  
"Man, you sure did learn how to keep a secret. And let me guess, I'm sure a little girl knows something about this too...?" Ross questioned.  
  
"I'm sorry, honey, but I just wanted to see how she would react, and I can confidently say that the results were good!" Rachel replied, a smile spreading across her face.  
  
"That's great honey, but we better hurry, we're supposed to be at the airport in 30 minutes!" Ross said, running towards the door.  
  
After a few minutes of sentimental goodbyes, the once again happy couple raced out the door, with their beam of sunshine following behind. 


	5. A Job, A Reunion, and A Bundle Of Joy

Chapter Five: A Job, A Reunion, and A Bundle of Joy  
  
Ross and Rachel's New House In California  
  
They pulled up to the beautiful two story brick house. It was absolutely beautiful, with a spacious front and back yard, unbelievable landscaping, and deep, green lawn. Rachel couldn't believe it was theirs, even if only for a year.  
  
"Do you like it, Sunshine?" Rachel asked her daughter, who was gazing in awe at the house.  
  
"I love it Mommy! Is my room really gonna be purple, just like I always wanted!?" Summer asked, her eyes sparkling with joy.  
  
"Yep, sweetie, it'll be just like you wanted," Rachel convinced her daughter.  
  
Summer ran out of the SUV and dashed straight up to the front door. She couldn't wait to get inside, to see her room, to go play in the backyard.  
  
"Daddy, Mommy, hurry up, I wanna see my room!" Summer squealed with impatience.  
  
She turned around and noticed her parents passionately kissing against the car.  
  
"Ewwww!" she screamed.  
  
"Coming, sweetie, just give us a minute!" Rachel giggled, as Ross pressed her against the car again.  
  
Finally, the two parents strolled casually towards the front door, hand in hand. The door opened, and Summer immediately rushed upstairs. Ross went to check out the kitchen. As for Rachel... she just stood there, knowing that she had made the right decision. She was happier then she could have ever imagined.  
  
5 months later  
  
Rachel trudged up the flight of stairs, resting her hands over her now bulging stomach. God, all this extra weight is killing me, she thought. It felt as if she was carrying seven babies instead of one.  
  
"Mommy, where are you, I thought you were coming?" said Summer impatiently.  
  
"I'm still coming honey, just give me a minute... more like five," she sighed in reply.  
  
She finally reached the top of the stairs and almost collapsed in a heap on the floor. Once she reached Summer's room, she laid down on the bed, panting.  
  
"You alright, Mommy?" Summer asked, for what seemed like the hundredth time.  
  
"Yes, Sunshine, I'm just tired," Rachel answered.  
  
"Why isn't Daddy home yet? He's always at work," the little girl pouted.  
  
Ever since they had arrived in California, it seemed like Ross was at work more and more each day. He had barely spent anytime with Rachel during the pregnancy, and even less with his daughter. That's why Rachel had been giving extra attention to Summer with each day, hoping she wouldn't feel left out when the new baby came.  
  
"Mommy, why didn't you find out if it was girl or boy?" questioned Summer.  
  
"Because Mommy and Daddy wanted to be surprised this time. Plus, we wanted you to be surprised too," Rachel said as she hugged her daughter.  
  
Suddenly, Rachel's eyes lit up; "Summer, sweetheart, can you please bring me the phone."  
  
"Sure, Mommy, what's wrong?" Summer asked, very worried.  
  
Rachel was obviously in pain, "Honey, Mommy's having the baby, just go grab the phone!"  
  
"Ok, yeah!" Summer excitedly ran and brought the phone.  
  
Rachel quickly dialed 9-1-1, and soon the ambulance was there. Summer rode with her mother in the backseat. After what seemed like hours, they finally reached the hospital and Rachel was wheeled in. She told the lady at the front desk to call Ross, Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe. She hoped they could all make it in time, though she didn't worry, knowing how long she was in labor with Summer.  
  
A Couple Hours Later  
  
Rachel was almost ready to move into delivery, and Ross still wasn't there. Phoebe and Mike, Chandler and Monica, and Joey were all on their way, so that comforted her a little. Tears slowly slid down her face, thinking about the husband that she used to love so much. He didn't feel like her husband anymore, just a man who worked all day and slept by her at night. She didn't even get to look into those deep, chocolate puppy-dog eyes anymore when she woke up. She never got to feel those warm, strong, safe arms around her at night to help her fall asleep. Everything was different. And she didn't think that she could handle it anymore.  
  
A female doctor walked into Rachel's room, "Mrs. Geller, you're ready for delivery. We always allow one family member to be in the room with you during the birth, so I'll have your husband follow me this way."  
Rachel started to cry, Ross wasn't there, he never was anymore. The doctor noticed, "Mrs. Geller, is your husband here?"  
  
"No, no, he's not," cried Rachel. No one was there anymore, she didn't have a loved one to be there with her... or did she?  
  
"Miss, I know this may sound strange, but do you think it would be okay if my daughter could be with me?" Rachel asked, wiping her face.  
  
"She's quite young, I don't know..." the lady replied.  
  
"Please, please miss, I just don't think I can do this without someone who I know loves me," Rachel begged.  
  
"Okay, we'll have someone bring her in. For now, let's get you to delivery!" the lady said urgently.  
  
Delivery Room  
  
"Mommy, are you sure it doesn't hurt having a baby?" Summer asked.  
  
"Oh no, not at all, sweetheart," screamed Rachel as she had another  
contraction.  
  
"Ok, Rachel, we're gonna push on this one, ok?" the doctor told her.  
  
"Mommy, what do I do?" Summer asked.  
  
"Just hold my hand, sweetie," Rachel told her.  
  
A Few Hours Later  
  
"Wow, Mommy, you were brave!" Summer said encouragingly.  
  
"Thank you, Sunshine," her mother said in reply.  
  
"What are you gonna name her?" her daughter asked.  
  
"Well, I have some ideas, but I'm gonna wait until your father gets here,"  
Rachel said sadly.  
  
Suddenly, the doors of her hospital room flew open and she saw Monica run  
in.  
  
"Chandler Muriel Bing, could you have POSSIBLY driven any slower!?" Monica  
screamed furiously.  
  
"Just wanted to make sure we got here safely, sweetheart," Chandler  
replied.  
  
"Monica!" Rachel yelled across the room.  
  
"Rach, honey! I'm so sorry we didn't get here sooner," Monica apologized.  
She ran over to her friend and embraced her.  
  
"Do you wanna see her?" Rachel asked.  
  
"OF COURSE I DO!" Monica answered excitedly.  
  
For about ten minutes everyone looked at the little girl, who was just as beautiful as her mother. They all gave Summer tons of attention too, to  
help her to not feel left out.  
  
Suddenly, Monica realized something; "Where's Ross? We didn't see him in  
the waiting room?"  
  
Rachel's eyes welled up, "He's not here yet."  
  
"Honey, I'm so sorry," Monica hugged her dear friend. "I'll kill him if I  
ever see him again!"  
  
"Rach, I'm sure he just got stuck in traffic or something, he wouldn't have  
done anything like this to you on purpose," Chandler said.  
  
"I guess," said Rachel, unconvinced. She couldn't help the tears, and she  
slowly started to sob in the pillow, while Monica stroked her hair.  
  
No one even noticed the familiar face pressed against the window, a pained  
look on his face, and tears rolling down his cheeks. 


	6. And The World Came Crashing Down

Chapter Six: And The World Came Crashing Down  
  
Delivery Room  
  
Chandler turned his head to look at the door. It couldn't be, he thought. No, he was gone now, it was just a mirage.  
  
Monica noticed the odd look on her husband's face, "Chandler, what's the matter?"  
  
"I.. nothing, I just thought I saw Ross, but I was mistaken," he said, still looking at the door.  
  
"Mommy, can you please name her now!?" Summer pleaded.  
  
"Yea, come on Rach, if anything, Ross OWES you this," Monica told her.  
  
"I guess so..." Rachel said.  
  
"Well, I've always liked the name Michelle for a middle name," said Rachel, deep in thought.  
  
"Ohh! I've got one! Emma," said Monica proudly.  
  
"Emma Michelle Geller. I love it! Thanks Mon," Rachel said, looking down at her little girl.  
  
In a few moments, they all heard loud footsteps and yelling coming from the hallway outside Rachel's room. Then, the doors opened and Phoebe and Mike rushed inside.  
  
"Sorry... took.. long," Phoebe panted.  
  
"She means, we're sorry it took so long," Mike corrected.  
  
"What's going on?" asked Chandler.  
  
"I don't.. I don't think I can tell you guys yet," said Phoebe, who started to cry.  
  
"Phoebe, is this about Ross?" asked Rachel, bracing herself for the worst.  
  
"It's Joey," whispered Phoebe, now sobbing.  
  
"What, what is it?" asked Chandler.  
  
"Where's Uncle Joey!?" Summer questioned.  
  
"Mike, you tell them," Phoebe said, as Mike held her close, then spoke.  
  
"On the way here, we got a call from a hospital right outside of Los Angeles. Apparently, when Joey was driving here, he.. he had an accident," Mike almost started to cry.  
  
"No," whispered Chandler.  
  
"He was hit by a drunk driver, and unfortunately, he didn't make it," Mike finished.  
  
Everyone's faces went pale, while Monica and Rachel started clinging to each other. Phoebe came over and joined them. Meanwhile, Chandler had a breakdown.  
  
"NO! No, he's not DEAD! Joey!" screamed Chandler as he ran out the double doors.  
  
"Honey, come back," Monica yelled after him and started to chase him down the hallway.  
  
Rachel sat in her bed, not believing what was going on. It seemed as if her whole world had turned into one, giant, black hole, and she was caught inside... spiraling downward.  
  
Mike noticed Rachel's panic-stricken face, "Rach, are you okay?"  
  
And with that, she passed out.  
  
Ross's Point of View  
  
I kept running, running down the hallway and out of the hospital. I ignored the people screaming, 'Sir, watch out, please slow down'. I couldn't stop, just seeing that look on Rachel's face. What had I done? I knew I had let her down... and this time for good.  
  
Finally, I exited the hospital, and sat down on the curb to do some serious thinking. I was such an asshole, I thought to myself. Rachel... she was the best thing I could have asked for. I just wished that I hadn't hurt her, I wanted to be with her, holding her hand, pushing her, encouraging her, helping her through everything. However, I told myself that the longer I waited outside, the more I was hurting her, and if she truly loved me, then she could hopefully find it in her heart to forgive him. And with that, he turned around and walked back into the hospital.  
  
Delivery Room  
  
Everyone was still weeping over Joey's death, especially Chandler, who had obviously taken it the worst. A nurse had put Rachel on oxygen and she finally woke up. She still felt nervous and scared, like the whole world had crashed on top of her, and she couldn't move. That's when he walked in.  
  
"Rachel," he said, staring at her pained face from across the room. It killed him inside.  
  
"Ross, thank God," she started to cry again.  
  
Ross moved across the room and embraced his wife, never wanting to let her go. He rubbed his thumbs in circles on her temples. But, for some reason, Rachel was still crying.  
  
"Sweetie, I'm so sorry, but the traffic was horrible, there must have been some kind of accident. I understand if you never forgive me, but if you can find it in your heart..." Ross started.  
  
"Joey's dead," Rachel managed to choke out.  
  
"What!? Is, this... it isn't possible..." Ross whispered, looking for answers from his friends. They all nodded their heads in reply.  
  
"Rach, I'm.. I'm so sorry," Ross said, as Rachel buried her face in his chest. They just stood like that, for almost fifteen minutes. And the strange thing was, it only seemed like a mere second. 


	7. Home Again

Chapter Seven: Home Again  
  
Ross and Rachel's New House  
  
Ross walked around to the other side of the car and opened the door. He watched as his beautiful wife took his hand, leaned on him, and finally managed to get out of the car.  
  
"Man, having a baby sure can make you sore. I feel like I've done 500 crunches," Rachel laughed.  
  
"Summer, honey, make sure you grip that handle tightly!" Ross yelled, worried that his daughter would drop the carrier, along with the baby.  
  
Rachel watched as her little girl wobbled back and forth, trying to lift Emma. She could already tell what a wonderful sister she was going to be.  
  
"Here, sweetie, lemme take your bags, you don't need to be caring all this extra weight," Ross said, as she handed the loaded bags to her husband.  
  
"Extra weight?" Rachel said, flustered.  
  
"Weight, I said, weight, no extra, just w.e.i.g.h.t," Ross said, trying to make up for his mistake.  
  
"It's okay, sweetheart, I know I still look beautiful to you," Rachel said, batting her eyelashes, and walking up the steps to the front door.  
  
A few months later, and Ross's term has just ended  
  
Ross walked inside the front door, briefcase in hand, "Honnneyyy, I'm home."  
  
His wife walked around the corner, Emma on her hip. He couldn't believe how beautiful she always looked. Each day, she seemed to become even more exquisite, if that was at all possible.  
  
"I guess that'll be the last time you say that," she said, raising her eyebrows.  
  
"Oh, I think it'll start back up again once we move back to New York," Ross said, smiling.  
  
"Really, we're going back?!" Rachel asked in disbelief.  
  
"Well, UCLA did offer me to stay another year... but I turned it down," Ross replied, obviously disappointed.  
  
Rachel stared at her husband in shock. This was his dream! Everything he had always wanted. Why was he giving it all up?  
  
"Why? Honey, I know how much this..." Rachel began.  
  
Ross cut her off, "Actually, they didn't offer me to come back. I just wanted you to feel like I sacrificed something for you... that way I could get some kind of reward..."  
  
"Ohh, you're not getting a reward now, Dr. Geller," Rachel said, seductively.  
  
"We'll see about that..." Ross chuckled, as Rachel walked away.  
  
"I heard that," she called over her shoulder.  
  
Later that evening  
  
"Mommy! Emma's crying," Summer informed her mother.  
  
"Be right there, Sunshine, thanks for letting me know," Rachel replied, loading the last of the dishes into the washer.  
  
Rachel took off her apron and rushed into the nursery. She absolutely loved being a mother, even though it sometimes took a lot of energy. Besides her husband, her two girls were the most wonderful things in her life, and each day, their smiling faces made her glow.  
  
After checking on Emma, and eventually coxing her back to sleep, Rachel headed back into the kitchen.  
  
"Sweetie, you hear that Monica and Chandler bought a new house?" Ross said, looking up from a letter he was reading.  
  
"Really? That's great, I know Monica always wanted a small house where she could raise her kids," Rachel said, thinking of her best friend, who she missed so much.  
  
"So, I was thinking..." Ross said, with his mysterious voice.  
  
"What, honey?" Rachel asked anxiously.  
  
"Well, since we're moving back to New York in about a month, maybe we could try to buy a house near them, you know, instead of an apartment," Ross suggested.  
  
"Ross, that's.. I can't believe it! I love you Dr. Geller," Rachel said, using his famous nick-name, and pulling him into a passionate kiss.  
  
1 ½ months later- Monica and Chandler's New House  
  
Monica Geller-Bing walked out of the bedroom and rubbed her eyes, as she made her way over to the kitchen. She looked out the front window to see her husband, Chandler, entertaining the twins with some kind of puppet show. It was the life she had always wanted, and now that her best friend and brother were moving in next-door, it was complete.  
  
The telephone rang, and she almost screamed when she heard the voice coming out of the speaker:  
  
"Monica!" Rachel said, excited to hear her sister n' law's voice.  
  
"RACHEL! My new neighbor, my best friend, my..." Monica screamed, similar to a maniac.  
  
"Honey, calm down!" Rachel told her.  
  
"Where are you guys? Wait, lemme guess... you're on the plane!" Monica squealed.  
  
"Yep, Mon, we're on the plane, can't keep anything from you," Rachel replied, unenthusiastically.  
  
"Sorry, I'm just REALLY excited, I haven't seen you guys for," Monica started.  
  
"Almost 4 months, I know. I miss you guys so much," Rachel said, sadly.  
  
"Oh, sweetie, I gotta go, Chandler's puppet act isn't going very well. Call me when you land, we'll pick you up from the airport," said Monica.  
  
"Ok, hon, miss you, bye," Rachel said.  
  
"Bye!"  
  
Monica ran outside, just in time. Daniel and Erica were throwing puppets and chunks of lawn at Chandler, while he cowered behind the puppet stand.  
  
"Honey, WHAT is going on," Monica said, fighting back the urge to laugh.  
  
"Apparently, they didn't like the show... help me!" her husband screamed.  
  
So, Monica set to work, cleaning up the dirt and grass, and helping her husband safely into the house.  
  
Ross and Rachel- at the airport  
  
Rachel was trying to grab her multiple bags off of the luggage bar (whatever that friggin thing is that you get the luggage off of). Ross was busy fumbling with Rachel's cell, in hopes of reaching Chandler and Monica.  
  
"Rach, sweetie, what's your keypad code?" asked Ross urgently, while watching kids.  
  
"Oh, god, it's 5... (tries to grab bag) 3... no 2... (lunges at bag) 7...wait...6..no..2 (jumps across luggage belt and manages to grab her bag, but can't get off the machine) Honey, HELP!" Rachel finally screamed.  
  
Ross switched his gaze over to his wife, who was sprawled overtop of the luggage- carrying device (I find it funny that I don't know what it's called) and sprinted over. He grabbed her legs and pulled, causing himself to fall backwards, as he watched his wife fly off of the machine, and land on top of him in the floor.  
  
Everyone in the airport applauded. Then, a women spoke, "Some things never change, do they?"  
  
"Monica! Chandler!" Ross screamed, picking up Rachel.  
  
There were a few moments of intense hugging, which did scare some nearby children. Finally, the two families walked out of the airport, talking along the way. 


	8. Some Wishes Don't Come True

Chapter Eight: Some Wishes Don't Come True  
  
Ross and Rachel's SECOND New House  
  
Rachel stared at the picture for what seemed like an hour. It was a wedding picture, of Ross and her, both glowing with happiness. Yet, something bothered her... the fact that things had changed. They were happy newlyweds then... and distant lovers now.  
  
For some reason, she thought things would change when they moved back to New York, but how wrong could she have been? Ross worked just as much as he had in California, and now he had small shifts on weekends too.  
  
Suddenly, she heard the door open behind her. It was Ross. She no longer called him her husband, because we was nothing of the kind. Rachel loved him dearly, and never wanted to lose him, but his selfishness bothered her. She had given up so many things for him to be happy, and instead of repaying her, he had left her with a feeling of despair... almost as if she had been forgotten.  
  
"Hey sweetie," Ross said, taking Rachel into his arms. She kissed him softly on the cheek, and without replying, she walked away.  
  
That's when he figured everything out. He finally took the time to think about Rachel, his family, instead of himself. And he understood the what she had been feeling, the emptiness that was deep inside her heart. He knew what he had to do, but he also knew of all the pain that would result because of it.  
  
A Few Weeks Later  
  
It was a beautiful, Saturday morning; July 15th. Rachel got out of bed, her eyes weary, and was not surprised when she realized her husband wasn't lying next to her.  
  
After taking a shower, getting into some nice clothes, making breakfast for her two daughters, and dropping them off at her sister n' law's house, she set off to Central Park. She hoped Ross would be on time. Every Saturday, for the past month or so, she had met him at their favorite bench at the park. They would have a picnic and catch up on each other's days. It made her happy to have a little bit more of Ross in her life, yet sad that he still kept his busy schedule.  
  
She sat down on the familiar bench, starting to unpack the picnic basket. Ross walked up behind Rachel and tapped her on the shoulder.  
  
She whipped around, "Oh, honey, you scared me."  
  
"Sorry, Rach, I got here on time, though, didn't I?" Ross said, pleased with himself.  
  
"Yes, you did very well," she replied, grabbing his tie and pulling him in for a tender kiss.  
  
An hour of talking and eating quickly passed by, and it was time for Ross to return to work. However, before he left, Rachel suddenly had an urge to throw a penny into the wishing fountain.  
  
"Honey, I'll be right back," Rachel told him, heading over to the fountain. "Stay right there."  
  
"I will, sweetie," he replied.  
  
She walked up to the white, stone fountain, watching the little children throwing in their coins. Rubbing the smooth coin with her fingers, she thought of a wish: I wish that I can have a better relationship with my husband. I wish that he could realize how much I love him, and how much I miss him. And most importantly, I wish that he will never leave me, that he will always be there, so I can fall into his safe, strong, caring arms.  
  
Rachel tossed the penny into the water, and watched it sink down to the bottom. She turned around to walk over to her husband. But... he wasn't there. The bench was deserted.  
  
She started to worry, her eyes darting to the lemonade stand, then the hot dogs, the fountain, back to the bench. Where did he go? He wouldn't have went back to work without saying goodbye, would he? Then she noticed the paper lying underneath their picnic bench.  
  
Rachel stumbled over to the bench, stooped down, and gently grabbed the letter. It read:  
  
Dear Rachel,  
  
Please don't cry. I never meant to do this to you, and I'll never be able to forgive myself. I just wanted to rid you of the burden that I've been. You've sacrificed everything for me to be happy, for my dreams to come true, but what did I give you in return? A disappointed family. A disappearing relationship. A broken heart. And I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Rach, you could never understand how much I want to be with you, the perfect family, like we've always dreamed. But, I'm just a selfish asshole, and you deserve so much better, SO MUCH better. Take care of the girls, take care of Monica, and most importantly, take care of yourself. I love you more than you'll ever understand, and I hope that you can find someone who'll treat you the way you've always needed to be treated. Rachel, whatever happens, just promise me one thing. Remember me, Rachel Green, remember me.  
  
-Ross  
  
She dropped the letter, and started to cry, uncontrollably, resting her face on the bench. I guess wishes don't always come true, she thought. 


	9. Fate's Nasty Plan

Chapter Nine: Fate's Nasty Plan  
  
Still at the park  
  
Rachel could hear the many, muffled footsteps walking past her. She knew they were all staring, she knew they all wondered what she was doing, sobbing by a bench at Central Park. But, they couldn't possibly understand, no one could. First, one of her best friends died, while her husband missed the birth of his child. And to top it all off, now he was gone. Forever.  
  
You can get through this, you have to be strong for your family and friends, Rachel told herself. Just concentrate on getting home, being with your girls, and then you can worry about emotions. So, she walked out of the park, watching stranger's heads turn around to watch her. She finally reached her car, and threw herself inside, slamming the door shut.  
  
The traffic was awful, it took three minutes to move one inch. After waiting in an immense line of cars for about half an hour, Rachel decided to relax, and laid her head on the steering wheel. Before she knew what was happening, she heard horns blaring behind her, and she raised her head. The light was green, and she was holding up a train of cars. Damnit, she thought, as she stomped on the accelerator to catch up to the other cars. The engine revved up, causing her to fly forward, and slam into the car in front of her. Her windshield shattered, and she was propelled forward, barely held back by the seatbelt. The pieces of glass stung her eyes, and suddenly she felt a second car slam into her from behind. Her head shot back towards the seat, as she heard her neck snap in pain. She saw people stopping their cars, and running over to check on her. That's all she could remember, because her eyelids started to flutter, and finally collapsed.  
  
St. Peter's Hospital, ER  
  
Monica stampeded through the hallway, her husband slowly trailing behind her. She grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him to the front desk.  
  
"Hello, welcome to St. Peter's Emergency Room, what's the emergency?" the woman asked calmly.  
  
"My friend is here, she was in a car accident, THAT'S THE EMERGENCY!" Monica screamed.  
  
"Excuse me, miss, but you're going to have to calm down, or I will be forced to call security," she ordered.  
  
"Excuse my wife's behavior," Chandler interrupted. "But, our friend was in a severe car accident, and we need to see her."  
  
"Name, please," the receptionist asked.  
  
"Rachel Green," Chandler told her.  
  
The woman typed in the name, and waited a few minutes for the search to end; "Rachel Green... yes, she just got an x-ray done, and should be ready for visitors. Room 513."  
  
"Thank you!" Monica yelled, as she started to run back down the hallway.  
  
Rachel's Room  
  
"Monica, Chandler!" Rachel cried.  
  
"Sweetie, what happened?" Monica asked, concerned, as she went to hug her friend.  
  
"There was a car accident," Rachel began.  
  
"We know THAT," Chandler told her.  
  
"Hey, Mr. Sarcastic, let me finish," Rachel laughed. However, for some strange reason, she couldn't remember why she had been so upset.  
  
"Rach, what's wrong, you look confused?" Monica asked.  
  
"I..I don't remember why I was crying..." Rachel stammered.  
  
"You were crying?! Honey, was it something someone said? Maybe Ross..." Monica asked.  
  
"Ross..." Rachel said, her face turning pale, the color being drained out of it.  
  
"Where is Ross, anyway?" Chandler wondered out loud.  
  
"He's gone..." Rachel whispered.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Monica asked, worried.  
  
"He left me at the park, here," Rachel handed Monica the letter.  
  
Monica read the leader, and about halfway through, her knees buckled and she sobbed on the floor. Rachel watched as her husband consoled her. She realized that she didn't have that anymore, and tears began to well up in her eyes.  
  
"How could he do this to you... and me?" Monica screamed.  
  
"I don't know, honey," Chandler rubbed her back.  
  
At times like these, Rachel would wrap her arms around Ross, and cry into his chest. Now, she had no one, she was alone. She pushed her face into the bed, and cried, until her eyes were sore. 


	10. A Mother's Sorrow

Chapter Ten: A Mother's Sorrow  
  
Monica and Chandler's  
  
It has been about three months since Rachel's car accident, and the day Ross left. Rachel was completely healed... well, physically, at least. Her heart hadn't just been broken, or shattered into pieces as some people would say. It wasn't smashed by a hammer, or ripped from her chest. Instead, it was isolated, inside a coffin, and it couldn't escape.  
  
All of these thoughts were passing through her mind, as she leaned over Monica and Chandler's deck. Why? That was the puzzling question that seemed to flood her brain. Why had Ross left her? Why had Ross left his children? Why had Ross put her through so much pain? Why? She never even got to tell him... tell him what she had found out that very day.  
  
I guess I'll never know, Rachel thought sadly. She wondered where he was, almost constantly. Maybe he was living life as if nothing had happened. Maybe he was a bum on the streets. Maybe he had met another women, maybe even married her. It wasn't a scary thought, knowing Ross's tendency to walk down the isle. Maybe he had met a new group of friends. Maybe he was still at the park. Maybe he was dead.  
  
Dead. She couldn't imagine Ross... gone, forever. Although she was living without him now, she had always believed that he was safe. But, if she found out he was dead, things would be different. He could never rescue her, come back and love her, make up for all of the things that had happened in the past. Sure, it was a stretch, she knew that. However, for some reason, Rachel felt that someday, he would come back for her. Back for his three children, and of course, his wife.  
  
"Rach, you okay?" asked Chandler, concerned.  
  
"Do you think he'll ever come back for me?" Rachel asked, gazing at the sky.  
  
"I..I don't know, honey. We all hope he will, but, it's just so unrealistic," he replied, sadly.  
  
"Summer misses him, she doesn't understand," Rachel whispered.  
  
"I thought you told her," Chandler said, now confused.  
  
"I did."  
  
Flashback- Two Months Ago  
  
"Mommy! You're home from the hospital! Yay!" Summer squealed, hugging her mother's knees, her favorite tradition.  
  
"Yes, baby, Mommy's here," Rachel replied, scooping up her daughter.  
  
"Where's daddy?" the girl asked, noticing that her father wasn't there.  
  
"He.. he's gone," Rachel coughed, holding back tears.  
  
"When's he coming home?" Summer questioned.  
  
"He. He's not coming back sweetie," Rachel cried, holding her daughter.  
  
End of Flashback  
  
"It'll be okay Rach," Chandler consoled her.  
  
"No, no it won't," Rachel sobbed. No one could understand, only she knew.  
  
Ever since she was a young girl, her father taught her how to keep a secret. And she was exceptionally good at it. I guess things haven't changed, Rachel thought. Even as an adult, she could hide things from people with so much ease. But, in the end, she always felt so guilty.  
  
"Why are you saying that? You know, you'll always have us," Chandler told her.  
  
"I think I need to tell Monica something," Rachel told Chandler, as she walked inside the house.  
  
Monica was washing dishes in the sink. Rachel always seemed to find it funny. Maybe it was because of the huge, rubber gloves that she always wore, or maybe it was just because she was so stubborn. For God's sake, she had a dishwasher!  
  
"Mon, we need to talk," Rachel began.  
  
Monica dropped the dishes, "What is it, honey? Is it something I did? Something I said? 'Cause if it is, I'm so sooo sorry."  
  
"No, it's about me," Rachel stammered, almost panicking.  
  
Rachel took a deep breath, inhaling and exhaling, "I'm having a baby."  
  
"Or, in other words, you're pregnant! Yay! This is..." Monica began, then stopped, as she looked at Rachel's face.  
  
What is WRONG with me, Monica thought. My friend's husband –and my brother – just left, and now she's pregnant with his child. God, why can't I just shut-up sometimes.  
  
"Honey, I'm sorry. I forgot, I just," Monica started.  
  
"I'm 3 ½ months," Rachel said, her face pale.  
  
"God, woman! I'm going to kill you! You have some kind of mental illness, I'm serious! I mean, are you afraid that we're SCARED of you when you're pregnant? Like you suddenly turn into some serial killer? NO, we're not like that. I, for one, am always happy when my best friend finds out she's pregnant..." Monica screamed at the top of her lungs.  
  
"I'm.. I'm so so.r.rry, Mon," Rachel sobbed.  
  
"Oh, God, honey, I've done it again haven't I?" Monica said, upset with herself.  
  
Rachel solemnly nodded her head in reply.  
  
"Hey! I've got an idea... let's watch a movie, just like old times. That'll be sure to cheer us up, right?" Monica suggested.  
  
"Sure, Mon, that sounds great," Rachel replied, as she made her way over to the couch.  
  
After minutes of rummaging through the DVD cabinet (yep, we're too old for VHS), Monica finally found a movie; "Pearl Harbor!"  
  
"I've never seen that, is it good?" Rachel asked curiously.  
  
"It's great, honey. And, I think it'll be good for you. You can really relate to it," Monica told her friend, as she popped in the DVD and ran over to the couch, like a teenager.  
  
"Oh, yea, 'cause she's living in the 40's, is a nurse, and has a boyfriend in the war," said Chandler sarcastically, as he walked into the room.  
  
He paused as he neared Rachel, "Hey, I heard about the baby, congrats."  
  
"Thanks," Rachel replied, as the movie began.  
  
After watching ¼ of the movie, Monica finally began to talk, "See, see here's the part where her boyfriend dies. Now, in your situation, you could think of Rave as Ross. Now, we know Ross isn't dead..."  
  
"We don't know that," Rachel interrupted.  
  
"Hey, now if you go around with an attitude like that, then a movie's no use. Anyway, now, you remember his friend, Danny? Well, she's gonna fall in love with him, but then she finds out that Rave isn't dead! So, maybe Ross will come back, even when you think he's gone. Well, later, she finds out she's pregnant with Danny's child, but, in this case, you're having Ross's baby, but that's pretty much the only difference."  
  
"Thanks, Monica, you've managed to explain a three-hour movie in about three minutes, now I know exactly what's going to happen next!" Rachel said, sarcastically.  
  
"Oh, sorry, I just got a little carried away," Monica explained.  
  
"Honey, can we watch the movie later, I'm really tired," Rachel yawned.  
  
"Sure, I've got some bath salts and candles under the bathroom sink, if you feel like relaxing before you go to bed," Monica told Rachel.  
  
"Ok, thanks," Rachel replied, as she walked into the bathroom.  
  
A Few Minutes Later  
  
"MONICA!" Rachel screamed from the bathroom.  
  
"Honey, I'm coming," Monica yelled, as she headed towards the bathroom to help her friend.  
  
"I think I'm losing the baby!" Rachel cried.  
  
Monica reached the bathroom to find Rachel, doubled over in pain, lying on the ground. She immediately called 911 and an ambulance arrived minutes later. 


	11. Weep Not For The Memories

Chapter 11: Weep Not For The Memories  
  
One Year Later: Monica's Point of View  
  
The night that Rachel had the miscarriage was one of the worst moments in my entire life. My best friend, whose life I once thought was perfect, had suddenly been through a living hell. And the strange thing was, she always seemed to regain her strength. Every morning, she woke up like a fighter. The once spoiled Rachel Green, had magically transformed into the warrior princess Rachel Geller.  
  
I told myself not to feel sorry for her, because I knew how much she hated it. But, I can honestly admit that it was hard, especially when conversations came up that involved Ross. And of course, my pea-brained husband didn't help much either. He always made sarcastic jokes when we were in the middle of a heart-felt conversation.  
  
I remember the night we watched Pearl Harbor. There was a moment in the movie, where Alec Baldwin said:  
  
"When the Japanese attacked us at Pearl Harbor, they hit us with a hammer. We're not gonna hit 'em with a hammer, only with a needle. But that needle will go straight through their hearts."  
  
Rachel told me that's how she felt when she realized that Ross left. I finally realized everything she had been through. She gave up her fashion career, she moved away from her friends, she gave birth without her husband holding her hand, she was in a fatal car accident, had a miscarriage, and lost the love of her life. Yep, that was Rachel Geller, my best friend. No, that didn't suit her... she was Rachel Geller, my hero.  
  
Two Years Later: Chandler's Point of View  
  
It's been two years since Ross left, and since all of the tragedies occurred. And, to my surprise, Rachel's life has completely turned around. She became manager of our local Pottery Barn, which upset Phoebe, and caused her to write a new song: Pottery Barn Sucks Like Crap. I won't go into details about that though. Anyway, back to Rachel; she's still living next door, and is a fantastic mother to Summer and Emma. Sometimes, I think of her as a second Monica, but I don't mention that out loud.  
  
A few nights ago, I went back to visit Ross's old apartment. However, for some odd reason, it felt like someone had been there recently. Then, the strangest thing happened. Even though the apartment hadn't been inhabited for almost 4 years, I noticed something lying in the corner. As I walked closer, I noticed it was a receipt from Barnes and Nobles, for a book called: Our Prehistoric Brothers. I guess it's just one of Ross's old receipts, I thought, thinking of my old friend. I didn't even bother to glance at the date, which just happened to be two days earlier.  
  
Three Years Later: Chandler's Point of View  
  
I'll never forget that day, back in the spring. I was walking down the street, a few blocks away from Central Park. Monica had told me to leave the house, she needed to be with Rachel alone. Yes, the day had come once again, I told myself. It was the three-year anniversary of the day that Ross left. The past few years, Rachel had visited Central Park, and left a letter under the same bench that she had wept on years before. The letter was dedicated to Ross, and told him about everything that had occurred the past year. It was always an upsetting day, for everyone. Even I tended to cry sometimes. That's when I reached the museum. It always pained me to walk by it. I stared in shock at the huge building, thinking about our friend who once worked there. That's when I saw Ross Geller walk around the corner. 


	12. Remembrance

Chapter Twelve: Remembrance  
  
Central Park  
  
Rachel walked towards the stone bench, fighting tears. She saw the letters from years before, lying underneath it. Taking out her pad of paper, she sat down on the bench and began to write.  
  
The Museum  
  
"Ross! Ross Geller," Chandler screamed, as the man walked closer.  
  
"Excuse me, sir, the name's Ronald Greem," the man corrected.  
  
"Ross, please. It's Chandler, your old friend. I know who you are, stop faking it, please," Chandler begged.  
  
"Follow me," Ross said, motioning for Chandler towards a nearby cul-de- sac.  
  
"Ross, please, talk to me," Chandler pleaded again.  
  
"Man, I haven't seen you for years, come here, man," Ross said, hugging Chandler.  
  
"We thought you were dead, or living on the streets," Chandler told him, sniffling.  
  
"I..I don't know what to say, I've missed you all so much," Ross cried.  
  
"Monica... she took it really bad," Chandler whispered, remembering his sobbing wife.  
  
"I can only imagine," Ross sighed.  
  
"It was when we were at the hospital, 'cause Rache..." Chandler stopped himself.  
  
Rachel, Ross thought. He missed her so much, he missed her golden, blonde hair, her deep green eyes, and her loving touch. He missed going to bed beside her, and waking up in her embrace.  
  
"What? Wha.. what happened to Rachel?" Ross demanded.  
  
'I..um, she was in a car accident," Chandler said, tears starting to well in his eyes.  
  
"When?" Ross questioned.  
  
"On her way home from the park that day, she got hit," Chandler stammered.  
  
"It's all my fault," Ross cried.  
  
"No, no it's not, don't say that," Chandler consoled his friend.  
  
"I have to see her, I want to be with her, I love her!" Ross screamed.  
  
"There's still time! Go to Central Park, she'll be at the bench, the one where you had the picnic. You have to hurry, go!" Chandler encouraged his friend.  
  
"Thanks, man!" Ross yelled, as he headed towards the park.  
  
"WAIT! Ross, before you go, there's something you should know," Chandler started.  
  
Ross stopped, "What?"  
  
"After you left, Rachel got pregnant, and..." Chandler began.  
  
"I've got a new baby?! I'm sorry man, I gotta go!" Ross said, as he disappeared out of sight.  
  
"And miscarried."  
  
Central Park  
  
Rachel finished the letter, folded it up, and held it in her hands. Tears ran down her cheeks, and rained on the letter. Then, she gently placed it under the bench, and walked towards the fountain. She sat down on the edge, and skimmed her finger across the water.  
  
Ross peeked his head out from the bush, and saw her sitting by the fountain. There she was... so gentle, and so beautiful. He thought about everything she must have went through, all of the pain he had caused her. He knew he could never make up for everything he had done, but he could try.  
  
He walked over to the bench, and cautiously picked up one of the letters. It read:  
  
Dear Ross,  
  
It's been a year now, and I wish you would just come home. Sometimes, I wonder... why did you do this to me? Why did you have to ruin my life? But, then I realize, you never meant for these things to happen, and I would give the world to see you again...  
  
He stopped, and picked up another letter:  
  
Dear Ross,  
  
I just wanted to tell you how much I love you, because you probably didn't realize that from my last letter. I was upset, and I was going through a tough time in my life, so please... please forgive me. I love you so much Ross, and I wish you could understand how much I care about you. I know you thought that by leaving, you would rid me of a burden, but you didn't, Ross. You rid me of the one thing in my life that I truly cared about... you...  
  
He stopped reading the letter, and dropped it on the ground. I can't do this anymore, I have to see her, he thought.  
  
Rachel held the penny in her hand, trying to make a decision. Every year, she had wished he would come back, but it was useless. Maybe I should just give up, she thought. She chucked the penny into the water, and let her tears combine with the fountain's water. Then, she stood up, wiped the tears off of her jeans, and walked away.  
  
Why was she leaving?! Ross thought. He had his chance, and now it was over. Or was it?  
  
"Rachel!" he screamed at the top of his lungs.  
  
I will remember you...  
  
She heard the voice, and her heart stopped for a moment. It wasn't him... no, it couldn't be. She turned around, and brought her hands to her mouth, tears steadily falling from her eyes. She shook her head in disbelief.  
  
Will you remember me...?  
  
He stared her straight in the eyes, and nodded his head in reply.  
  
Don't let your life, pass you by...  
  
She broke down, and fell to the ground, sobbing.  
  
Weep not for the memories...  
  
He ran over to her, and embraced her on the ground. She embedded her face in his chest, and then looked up, to meet his eyes.  
  
I'm so tired, that I can't sleep...  
  
She touched his face, brushing her fingers against his cheek, to see if he was real.  
  
Standin' on the edge of somethin' much too deep...  
  
He grazed his lips on hers, and gave her a passionate kiss. They both had forgotten how good it felt to be cared for.  
  
It's funny how I feel so much, yet cannot say a word...  
  
She laid her head on his shoulder, and he stroked her hair.  
  
We are screaming inside, oh, we can't be heard...  
  
They stayed there, sitting on the ground at Central Park, for almost two hours.  
  
I will remember you Will you remember me? Don't let your life, pass you by Weep not for the memories  
  
I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to lose Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose Where once there was a darkness, a deep and endless night You gave me everything, oh, you gave me life  
  
I will remember you Will you remember me? Don't let your life, pass you by Weep not for the memories 


End file.
